Stop “Tolerations” From Ruining Your Life!

Kim Wolinski, MSW
"Dr. DeClutter"
http://www.drdeclutter.com/

I just recently heard this term, "tolerations" from a colleague. After I realized what it was, how it was used, I knew that I already teach plenty on the subject, since it's one of my weak areas. I call it "putting up with _____ (fill in the blank!)," or, as you may have heard me call it in my seminars, "being user-friendly!"

Do you tolerate, or put up with people, situations, events, experiences, habits, thinking and routines (to name a few) too much? Can you remember a time when you "had it," and said, "That's enough!"? That was the "shift" in stopping tolerations rule over your life.

I just recently noticed that when something happens about which I need to take action, or say something because I have feelings or an opinion, I kind of go on stun, or numb. I don't realize I have something to say until a day or two or more later! By then, I end up feeling angry, crying depending on the situation, and such. (Core here is, I don't like conflict and confrontation.)Then, I still have to deal with it because it's sure dealing with me . . . inside out!

Tolerations can be very small or large, but what is the same no matter what size they are, is that they steal your energy, time, money, ability to reason and act for your own good, causing unnecessary stress, frustration, angst and confusion - brain fog - as well as a host of other negative side-effects.

Here are some examples of tolerations:

- Tolerating a cabinet drawer that doesn't shut correctly and takes up time and effort every time you use it.
- Tolerating financial problems, yours or some elses, living in fear, guilt, anxiety, paranoia and embarrassment at times.
- Tolerating living with and walking around clutter, disorganization, mess, piles, heaps and indecision.
- Tolerating a friend who is wonderful most of the time, but rude, always has to be right, has to have the last word, controls or manipulates on occasion or embarrasses you, taking up your energy and blocking your joy.
- Tolerating your car that has engine problems, but you keep putting off getting it fixed for "later."
- Tolerating your weight, even though it's affecting your health, back and self-esteem.
- Tolerating a relationship with your spouse and their not helping out when your need it.

- T olerating a lock on the front door that doesn't lock easily and takes up your precious time and effort every time you lock and unlock it.

(Tolerating web programs, like this blogging site, or my website... that can kind of be rigid at times!! :-/ )

It's easy to "put up with" a lot of things, people and experiences. . . but at what cost?

If you could label yourself the classic "co-dependent", or if you grew up in a pretty dysfunctional family, you probably are a very big tolerator! You let people suck your energy dry with very little resistance, because you were programmed for it. Just say no, right? HA! What?! Sometimes you don't even know you need to stop something from happening until after it's gone on too long.

WHAT TO DO?
How do you stop tolerations from ruling your life?

1. Write a list of 20 tolerations.
2. Write at least one solution to each.
3. Start taking action on the solutions,
one at a time!

Without action, your tolerations will stay alive and well, taking you off track every day. Take action on the small, non-threatening ones first. Figure out what you need and fix the cabinet door and the front door lock, make the appointment to get the car fixed, choose a weight adjustment program (not diet!) and exercise to help your body. Take just one item from your list at a time and do something towards a solution.

You will notice small and major shifts and changes in your attitude and energy by taking action, taking charge and taking back your life on a daily basis.

Join my upcoming teleclass and learn more!
If you need support in understanding what your tolerations are and how you can fix, change and resolve them, I highly suggest you to to my upcoming teleclass on this subject.Click here for the teleclass information. (If there is no current program on Tolerations running, feel free to email me and request when the next one is! I'll put you on my list.)

Life's too short to lose ourselves in such unnecessary ways! I look forward to your being a part of this class!

©2007 Kim Wolinski, MSW "Dr. DeClutter" Stress, Change and Organizational Skills Expert

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