Organize Your Excuses for Not Spring Cleaning!

Kim Wolinski, MSW
“Dr. DeClutter” www.drdeclutter.com

Organize Your Excuses for Not Spring Cleaning!

How’s that Spring Cleaning going? NOT?!

Well, sit back and read on to get a moments reprieve from feeling guilty or frustrated about not “getting to it.”

As spring is well under way and the birds, wafting of lilacs and fruit tree blossoms hang in the breeze, the ritual of Spring Cleaning is also in the air. If you just can’t get into it, you might try a bit of humor to heal the nerves, heart and mind, releasing the tension that can keep you stuck, procrastinating, guilty and miserable.

Have you ever seen, stood and read (just to get your weekly “ha-ha’s”), or maybe you have your own collection of MAXINE cards? They’re/she’s a hoot. I’ve been told she’s my alter ego! Here’s a collection of Spring Cleaning humor from MAXINE that you might keep handy!

I never get tired of housework…
I don't do any.

When guests come to visit I just put down drop cloths and say… "We're painting.”

I don't do windows because ... I love birds and don't want one to run into a clean window and get hurt.

I don't wax floors because ... I am terrified a guest will slip and get hurt then I'll feel terrible

I don't mind the dust bunnies because ...
They are very good company.

I don't disturb cobwebs because ... I want every creature to have a home of their own.
I don't iron because ... I choose to believe them when they say "Permanent Press.”

I don't stress much on anything because ... "A Type" personalities die young and I want to stick around and become a wrinkled up crusty ol' woman!!!!

Find MAXINE products at Hallmark, or straight to MAXINE product website on Hallmark at http://www.hallmark.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/SearchResultsView?Ntt=maxine&storeId=10001&catalogId=10051&N=35&Ntk=all_fields&Ntx=mode%2Bmatchallpartial&RPP=12&SBQ=yes

And, for you parent with children… here’s some special HOUSEKEEPING HUMOR.

The 10 RULES OF HOUSEKEEPING are brought to you by 2CoolBaby. http://2coolbaby.com/ (Great site for parents)

1. Vacuuming too often weakens the carpet fibers. Say this with a serious face, and shudder delicately whenever anyone mentions Carpet Fresh.

2. Dust bunnies cannot evolve into dust rhinos when disturbed. Rename the area under the couch "The Galapagos Islands" and claim an ecological exemption.

3. Layers of dirty film on windows and screens provide a helpful filter against harmful and aging rays from the sun. Call it an SPF factor of 5 and leave it alone.

4. Cobwebs artfully draped over lampshades reduce the glare from the bulb, thereby creating a romantic atmosphere. If your husband points out that the light fixtures need dusting, simply look affronted and exclaim, "What? And spoil the mood?"

5. In a pinch, you can always claim that the haphazard tower of unread magazines and newspapers next to your chair provides the valuable Feng Shui aspect of a tiger, thereby reducing your vulnerability. Roll your eyes when you say this.

6. Explain the mounds of pet hair brushed up against the doorways by claiming you are collecting it there to use for stuffing hand sewn play animals for underprivileged children.

7. If unexpected company is coming, pile everything unsightly into one room and close the door. As you show your guests through your tidy home, rattle the door knob vigorously, fake a growl and say, "I'd love you to see our Den, but Fluffy hates to be disturbed and the shots are SO expensive."

8. If dusting is REALLY out of control, simply place a showy urn on the coffee table and insist that "THIS is where Grandma wanted us to scatter her ashes.…"

9. Don't bother repainting. Simply scribble lightly over a dirty wall with an assortment of crayons, and try to muster a glint of tears as you say, "Junior did this the week before that unspeakable accident... I haven't had the heart to clean it..."

10. Mix one-quarter cup pine-scented household cleaner with four cups of water in a spray bottle. Mist the air lightly. Leave dampened rags in conspicuous locations. Develop an exhausted look, throw yourself onto the couch, and sigh, "I clean and I clean and I still don't get anywhere..."

But seriously… like all organizing, choose one area, “zone” and dig in. Schedule an exclusive 30 – 90 minutes a section and “just start.” My designated area this week is my office closet. What’s yours?

If you need help, I also make “house calls” of course in the Boulder County area, and beyond! And, can help you on the telephone if you live at a distance… it really works!
Call today! 303-485-5280.

©2005 Kim Wolinski – Dr. DeClutterNeed help getting your space (house, office, barn, backyard – thoughts, mind, time, schedule, priorities, or life) decluttered and re- organized? My new video “BURN YOUR HOUSE DOWN, AND OTHER ORGANIZING TIPS AND TOOLS FROM DR. DECLUTTER” is a great help. You can find out more or order BURN YOUR HOUSE DOWN at http://www.redecisionsinstitute.com/kims_store.html

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